The Suicide Squad: Let’s rank the music and the gory kills, because why not – CNET [CNET]

HBO Max), this Suicide Squad sequel/reboot is a “scabrous, side-splitting and surprisingly smart supervillain romp”, as I exclaimed in my CNET review. We want to celebrate DC’s latest adventure in the same tone as the colorful, irreverent, utterly vile film itself, and what better way than with a good old-fashioned ranking. People love ranking things! From indie darlings the Decemberists and Pixies to classic rock gods Kansas to a human person with hopes and dreams and a family, presumably, whose head is pulled off and played with by a King Shark, we’ve listed the irresistible tunes and repugnant abhorrent violence by how much they made us want to sing along or sickened us to the pits of our stomachs.

Spoilers, obviously. And this is, like, just our opinion, so go easy, you guys! Hit us up on all the social medias to tell us K.Flay deserves to be higher or that you still see the guy with his face ripped off every time you close your eyes. Enjoy!

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48. Thinker’s scientist (Unspecified)
Killed offscreen. No fun at all.

47. Driver of military truck (Battered from behind)
It’s hard to defend yourself when you’re trying to keep your eyes on the road.

46. Whistle for the Choir (The Fratellis)
This chirpy ditty by Scottish indie troubadours The Fratellis came out in 2006 and plays over the scene in which Harley Quinn falls in love with a sexy Latin despot. But hang on: A shift in the sound suggests it’s actually diegetic — we aren’t just hearing it on the soundtrack, the South American dictator has actually chosen 2000s British indie mulch as his seduction music. I went off my nut to Chelsea Dagger at the indiedisco in 2001 the same as everyone else, but come on.

45. Jotunheim guards (Crushed by burning Humvee)
It says something that “crushed by burning Humvee” is one of the more mundane ways people die in this movie.

44. Oh No!!! (Grandson)
Plays over the credits. Fine if you like that sort of thing.

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38. I Ain’t Got Nobody (Louis Prima)
Harley is indeed sad and lonely now she ain’t got nobody, even if it is kinda her fault — she totally had somebody until she shot him in the face. Her torturer taken out, the song rings in our ears as Harley gets over her heartbreak by battering and machine-gunning a palace full of guards. Glad to see her growing as a person.

37. Guard tower guerrillas (Falling from guard tower)
Polka Dot Man thinks big.

36. Sucker’s Prayer (The Decemberists)
Sounding deceptively like the ’70s West Coast pop James Gunn loves so much, this breezy number is in fact from 2018 and it’s by the Decemberists. The hook line — “I want to love somebody but I don’t know how” — is an aching summary of the whole film, and perhaps the entire human condition. But the song isn’t as good as that one they did about being eaten by a whale.

35. Guards in truck x3 (Single punch x3)
One punch!

34. Guard killed by door (Battered by door)
When one door closes, another door opens, and is then repeatedly slammed into your face by an escaping Harley Quinn.

33. Torturer (Neck snapped)
Harley Quinn goes full Martin Riggs for this one.

32. Knife guard (Cuts own throat)
That’s what you get for bringing a knife to a Harley Quinn fight.

31. Checkpoint guards (Shark nom nom, shot)
Imagine the last thing you hear is soft rock band Kansas before a shark bites off your head. Still, these checkpoint guards totally deserve it — how the hell didn’t they realize Milton was stalling for time?

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15. Corto Maltesians (Crushed)
Stomped by Starro. What a way to go.

14. Javelin (Succumbs to gunshot wounds without completing last words)
Harley’s initial frustration later motivated her to save the day. A fine death, then, or at least relatively less ludicrous.

13. Captain Boomerang (Impaled by tree splinters)
One of the previous film’s stars, Jai Courtney, is sacrificed in the opening sequence to show James Gunn means business. Perhaps the most significant death of the opening assault, as it firmly establishes this world’s rules (or lack of).

12. General Suarez and soldiers (Star-crossed)
It’s unclear when star-crossed individuals actually die: when Starro’s mind-controlling starfish glom onto their faces, or when Starro himself bites the big one. The obnoxious General Suarez gets two moments of fatal hubris, first as he watches his army succumb to a rain of hot pink extra-terrestrial echinoderms, then again when he delivers Starro’s only line: “I was happy floating, staring at stars.”

11. People Who Died (The Jim Carroll Band)
Also used in ET, Dawn of the Dead and Mr. Robot, this punky obituary was sung by New York poet Jim Carroll (played by Leonardo DiCaprio in 1995 film The Basketball Diaries). This catalog of presumably real-life wasted lives plays over the corpses of various guest stars killed in assorted absurd ways, which seems, I don’t know, kinda bad taste?

10. Jotunheim guard (Torn in half by shark)
This one made the trailer!

9. Thinker (Dismembered)
Starro the giant alien starfish finally gets its suckers on the man who imprisoned and tortured it. First there’s a classic tentacle drag across the floor, then Thinker’s arms and legs are ripped off. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Although I can’t help thinking the film missed a trick here: Imagine if Starro had absorbed the Thinker — then we’d have had a super-smart kaiju up in this shit.

8. Soldier guarding bar back door (Rat in mouth)
Does the rat kill him? Doesn’t matter, this is frickin’ horrible.

7. Star-crossed dissidents (Experimented on)
The machinery they’re hooked up to could be keeping these unfortunate opponents of the Corto regime alive, but judging by the gaps where their legs and even faces were it’s unlikely. Amid all the flick’s bloody gore, the Thinker’s handiwork is perhaps the most obscene.

6. Guerrilla shot in shoulder who then blows up (Shot then blown up)
Peacemaker’s exploding compression bullets are indeed pretty dope. Bonus points for the way the wounded guy sways for a moment like a video game character about to be KO’d.

5. Pete Davidson (Face blown off)
The Saturday Night Live star gets killed by the very people to whom he tried to betray his teammates. Karma! The first and most shocking of the film’s many violent deaths, this is a clear jolt to the viewer.

4. Polka Dot Man (Crushed)
Has there ever been a more pathetic character in a comic book movie than poor Polka Dot Man, tortured by mental visions of his mother and contorted by inter-dimensional neon body horror. At least when he’s crushed by the giant alien starfish he has a brief moment of enjoying being a real superhero.

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